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Monday, June 18, 2007

Happy belated daddy's day!!

I forgot to call my dad and wish him happy father's day...

Just finished editing all the photos, including the NYC ones, but I'm gonna have to post them up tomorrow, because Mike is sleeping right behind me and he will complain and complain that the monitor light affects his sleep lor...

Kuakua...

That, and I wanna continue playing Phoenix Wright!!! Hehehe...

Anyway, I was just reading PostSecret and I saw that these are the things people sent in regarding what their fathers told them when they were kids...


-----Email Message-----
Sent: Sunday, June 17, 2007 5:12 AM

My dad used to say that inside of the car's air-bags was uncooked popcorn. When you wrecked the popcorn would pop and you would have a snack until help came.


-----Email Message-----
Sent: Sunday, June 17, 2007 6:13 AM

When I was little, my dad told me ATMs worked by having little monkeys inside them. I believed that for years. Now I work in a bank, and wish it were true!


-----Email Message-----
Sent: Sunday, June 17, 2007 6:55 AM

My dad told me the worst swear word you could possibly say was "Bostonian". It meant "someone who has no private parts." My brother and I used the word until we were teenagers and my father giggled every time we said it, right before he sent us to our rooms.


-----Email Message-----
Sent: Sunday, June 17, 2007 8:29 PM

when i was little my dad told me that polyester was a small animal in australia and they would kill it to make clothes. that night i sat in my room reading the labels on my clothes for hours & threw all of the polyester ones away.


-----Email Message-----
Sent: Sunday, June 17, 2007 10:06 PM

When I was little my Dad told me that the tune played by the ice-cream van was the ice-cream man letting everyone know that he'd run out of ice-cream.


-----Email Message-----
Sent: Sunday, June 17, 2007 9:56 AM

When we'd approach exits or toll booths, my father told me the sound the car made when it went over the rumble strips was the car getting angry because I had been bad. I still sit up a little straighter when I hit a rumble strip.


Aren't these so heartwarming and funny?? I like the popcorn and Bostonian ones best!

Thinking back, my daddy never told me nonsense like these before, but my momo did!!


She told me not to eat the papaya seeds when eating papaya, and when I asked her why, she said that the seeds were worms!!!!!


Oh horror of horrors! I still liked the papaya enough to eat it though, but I made sure I got rid of all the seeds before I ate it.

When things are really worms, she said it is not worms lor...

She forced me to drink cordyceps soup and when I saw the corpses of the worms splattered all over the kitchen sink afterwards she still denied that she could cook me worms. -_-

No wonder I grew up to be so warped.

Mike said when he was a kid he was on a road trip with his dad, mom and his brothers, and there was a bird flying really close to the side of the car.

So his dad said something like, "I bet I could hit it," and he really swerved to hit the bird!!!

The bird's parts splattered all over the side of the car with all the intestines and blood and all, and Mike's mom got really pissed at the dad but the boys were all like, "THAT'S AWESOME!!!"

LOL...

(Eh... Animal cruelty aside. Cmon! We kill and eat chickens everyday, intentionally!)

My dad's not funny like that, but it's really easy to make him laugh!

I think that's why I still try to make people laugh up till now, coz I was so used to doing it to my daddy when I was a kid. =)

*randomly juggles colourful balls in attempt to make blog audience laugh*

Tomorrow!


Update:
You fucking retards. Did you all also believe what your mom told you? Really? Till today? CORDYCEPS = WORMS. Don't believe me? Here's the extract from Wikipedia:

Cordyceps sinensis is a species of southeast, mountainous China that attacks caterpillars, specifically the larvae of hepialid moths (identified as species of Hepialus or Thitarodes).

The caterpillars feed on the roots of trees and shrubs on the slopes of the Himalayas. When infected by C. sinensis, the fungus mycelium fills the entire body cavity, killing the host, and the caterpillars die near the tops of their burrows. A dark brown, finger-like stroma sprouts near their heads. The entire fungus-caterpillar combination is hand-collected for medicinal use.


Just so we are clear, we are actually eating the CORPSE of a caterpillar that was infected by fungi.

How disgusting is that, exactly?

Just about as disgusting as when "cordyceps" here was alive:


He is so ugly I almost don't pity him for being attacked by fungi

Sunday, June 17, 2007

New ep!

"Girls Out Loud" Road trip part II!!

Click.

All pictures coming soon. I'm editing them, and they will soon create the longest blog entry you have ever seen.

Love!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Auroras

That day after 3 rounds of MJ I was sitting in Lot 1's Delifrance for breakfast with Benny, Kelvin and QQ when we suddenly talked about rainbows, and I randomly asked them if they thought anyone would dislike rainbows and whether boys like them as much as girls...

The topic led to Qingqing saying that she would really love to see an "aurora", and I was like, "What is that?" because in my media-filled brains "aurora" is Sleeping Beauty's real (fictional) name.

And Kelvin replied that auroras are dancing greenish lights in the sky!!!

So today, I finally checked on wikipedia (you have to click it!), and they are sooooooo lovely!!!!!!!!!


Glittery dancing lights!


Taken from a travel site recommending Alaskan tours:

So, what is so special about the northern lights that people go out of their way to plan specific aurora borealis vacations?

Imagine this. You look up and see the undulating, multi-colored ribbons of light dance across the sky. They display visual patterns far more intricate than the most talented artist could create. People take aurora borealis vacations to witness these miracles of nature.



Don't they sound so spectacular?!

I can't believe I am so sua ku and never heard of them till now!!!

Makes me feel like taking a tour to Alaska... Except that Mike's dad said something about the whole place being ridiculously cold, grey and completely SWAMPED with mosquitoes... And those mosquitoes are huge!!!


"Oh wow, Hello there... Please don't bite me?"

Ok, maybe not that huge... But I'm just guessing, I have no idea how huge they are. Shit, you think this picture is for real?



Sometimes, looking up at the beautiful sky and occasionally sporting nature's spectacular creations like rainbows, auroras, meteor showers, whirlpools or even storms... or like looking like fields of flowers and ponies prancing freely and squirrels on huge trees, it makes me feel like becoming an environmentalist!!!

I want to preserve all these and make the world a beautiful, beautiful place!

And then the next moment I feel like I am too hot and I need aircon + a cold drink from the fridge... and I want to eat foie gras, have an urge to litter into the ocean (joking), etc, and I go like, Nah... forget it... and go ahead and lead my superficial life.

Nature is so pretty but it is also so disgusting!

Why must there be insects??????!

I know I know, part of the food chain etc, but it's like She (Mother Nature if she exists) has three bands of people designing stuff, and one of them is like this young punk kid trying to be different by designing ugly stuff (insects + visceral) and the other group neutral (animals) and the other group designing chio things (rainbows, baby mammals).

Why doesn't she just fire the ugly designer?!

I know, I am almost too bimbotic to function.

This post has absolutely no point except to tell you guys that I like auroras!!!

=)


**************************


p/s: I have about 300 photos to post up and I am procrastinating still. (Thanks to whoever helped me with Picasa's English switch! You are a life-saver!

My latest obsession? I am currently hooked on Phoenix Wright on my nintendo DS (the psp lies untouched) and have influenced at least 3 people (real life people hor, not counting those online yet) to buy the DS too!

It is so fucking fun can!!


Nintendo DS lite = Way better than PSP! Not to mention it is prettier. =)



Oh handsome! And authoritative!

Phoenix (above) is this really cute rookie lawyer, and you are supposed to help him solve crimes by searching for clues and finding disparities in witness testimonies!

I love the way he bangs on his table and points like that (above) at the lying witness, shouting "Objection!" pointing out their contradictions!! It also makes me want to tickle his armpit and feel if there is a muscle hole there... Hehe... Armpit holes are so sexy!

It is so fun can. So far I made about 2 innocent people go to jail 4 times, but I'm working hard on being a good lawyer.

So is Wong! She is working as an intern now at some bigass law firm, and she turned into an OL!

She said something about buying A-line skirts the other day, and I lost all respect for her.


Oh and yes. I am actually stuck in pokemon. I mean like stuck stuck. I can't move to the next region because they are all blocked (by psyducks no less). And it's too FUCKING irritating to move around trying to see what I missed out on earlier, and having to keep fighting the same damn pokemon! I hate that Zubat and Geodude can!



************************



p/p/s!!!

I am never ending this blog entry!!

I was being asked to be the "jie mei" (sisters/gal pals) for my cousin's wedding, and it made me think of something!!!


Who are going to my jie mei for MY future wedding?

How many jie meis are we allowed to have anyway?

I counted potential ones leh...


Not in order of consideration:

1) Shuyin (I let you be bridesmaid la you look like you will do a good job of holding my train, hehe)

2) Wanyi

3) Eekean (I AM SO GONNA MAKE YOU WEAR A FRILLY PINK DRESS)

4) Peiying (will hide the boys' shoes while they get sabotaged)

5) Xiao Feng

6) Qing qing

7) Qihua

8) Eileen

9) Sandra (definitely can negotiate for more angpow money)

10) Cousin Cally

11) Cousin Jocelyn

12) Cousin Michelle

13) Junne

14) Gillian

15) Rozz

16) Huifen



.............


0_O

I got 16 jie meis leh!

And like I think most of them will be offended if I don't ask them lor!

("Wah lau I 10 years friends with you you don't ask me to be jie mei, you good" etc etc)

HOW LIKE THAT?!

How the hell do people make such tough decisions?!

Maybe I hold a meeting with them and make them o-ah-peh-ah-som?

(I can imagine Huifen elbowing people and demanding to win, hahaha...)

Or maybe some of them don't want to be my jie mei? :( (That would make me super sad!)


LIKE THAT DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED ALREADY LA!

So troublesome one!

Kidding. Kidding, all potential wedding partners!

I am honestly troubled by this man. How many jie meis did you have, if you are married and female?

Maybe I'd make it special and have all 16 (or less depending on whether they are willing or still alive by the time I get picked off the shelf).

BTW, you all have to wear pink. Duh.



***************************


p/p/p/s!

I pity those horrible girls with no girlfriends hor?

Like you know, the sort of girls who are very whiny and only pay attention to guys one? Those that other girls cannot respect?

Then their wedding how, no jie meis? Or I guess, maybe just their relatives or something.

Hate those types of girls!




Last postnote: I am very disappointed with the admin people of wikipedia! I DEFINITELY deserve my wiki page back (far less worthy people have their pages), and I can't believe someone chose to delete it instead of requesting for my stub of an article to be expanded. If it is not biasedness I don't know what it is.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

"Girls Out Loud" part II!!

Well not Girls Out Loud per se, since that is a Mediacorp show and they don't seem to have the good sense to come up with season 2 (AHEM MCS!), but Gillian shot Rozz and I on our old road trip to Malaysia, and here are the videos!!


Road Trip - Episode 1
Episode 1

and

Road Trip - Episode 2
Episode 2!!!


All these and more all on munkysuperstar's spanking new, free, internet tv channel clicknetwork.tv!!! (not to be mistaken with clicktvwork.net or tvnetwork.click or whatever. Omg it is so confusing!)


So ah, G, now I wrote about you guys you know what to do already hor, I want more jobs!!!

Hehe...

Sorry I look so awful on the show, my nose was just recovering from the nose job and it looked a bit weird (it's all about how you massage it!), plus I was super lazy and didn't bother to put on make up most of the time!!!

Plus plus I made the mistake of dyeing my hair black and cutting the fringe. Oh dear lord why did I do that?????!

Don't even bother telling me my spoken English is not fantastic.

I know! I'm trying, believe me! It's not my fault I am born with a short tongue! (My least favourite word to pronounce is "that". What, "TH" plus a "t" at the back? All in one syllabus?! That's fucking crazy!)

To compensate for it I try to be funny. Well, at least if you don't like my sense of humour the bad spoken English is quite funny too. *awkward grimace*




************************



Someone left this comment:

You are not stupid, but you are shallow, petulant and thoughtless with words. I suggest you don't embarrass fellow Mensa members by indignantly asserting your association, and instead to use your gifted intellect and put in some work to pick up a few readings on what you wish to blog about, and gain insights and greater perspectives before you start shooting your mouth off.

Just as you do not like to look at ugly people, so others do not enjoy listening to angry, hateful words. A voice (beautiful or hideous) is far more reflecive and resounding than a pretty face. Perhaps in time you will grow to understand the importance of kindness and compassion, beginning with words.

Ok........................

To this I reply:







*Makes childish loud farting sounds with armpits and proceed to roll on the floor, laughing and laughing*


Hahaha.... I can imagine some serious-ass person standing there staring at me with this face -_- while I answer his honest suggestion with an armpit fart. Oh god, I am so hilarious.

Except I can't really armpit fart... but I can and will compensate with a farting sound made by my mouth. Pooooooooooot!!!



************************



Ha! My wiki page has been abused again! Someone who is good with wiki please put it right?

Someone wrote that I am a 21 yr old whore or something!!! I AM THOROUGHLY FLATTERED!! =D I am definitely 21!!!! *sashays across the blog in a manner of someone fresh and young*

HAHAHAHA you know what else is very hilarious? I was searching for "xiaxue" and I was led to River Valley High School's page (there are 9 schools in the world called River Valley High school - and most of them are in Ohio, where I suppose there are REAL river valleys), and my name was in the notable alumni list!




And beside me was... MARCUS CHIN!


I just think it's fucking funny how all the Mediacorp uncles all seem to come from RV... From what I heard, Huang Wen Yong and Chen Shu Cheng (OMG I just forgot his name and I had the HARDEST time remembering it!) were from RV too if I am not wrong.

I suppose the bulk of you have no idea who I am talking about. Never mind.

Marcus Chin, you know, the stumpy guy who always hosts with Lee Guo Huang? GOD! What IS his English name?!




(minutes later...) MARK LEE! --> I had to check that.




Hehe... I found a tiny photo of him!!!





MY (LACK OF) MEMORY IS SCARING ME!!

Which celebrities did your secondary school come up with? Share leh...




************************



Advertorial


Online tabloids all reporting the same news over and over again? Your favourite blogger did not update... again?

Read a magazine then! Nope, not your normal magazine, an e-mag!!!

A FREE E-MAG!

www.sotmagazine.com - Singapore lifestyle flipmag!

A preview of what you're gonna get


S.O.T. is short for Save Our Trees, but not to worry, it's not an environmentalist magazine, or at least, if it is it is concealed very well lar! (It is really not)

The contents in this month's issue includes a interview with singer Alicia Pan (she is on the cover too with a promising-looking photoshoot!), and other topics include Style, Female, Male, Entertainment, Technology, Foodie, Living, and Regular!

I must say I am pretty impressed! A lot of people think of starting up funny magazines, and especially online ones, but SOT seems to be doing pretty well - and managing to get Alicia Pan and Rosalind Pho on cover!

Now I know what to do whenever I am bored online.

I really hate bloggers who don't update. I know, ironic isn't it?


p/s: I am on a roll with advertorials!

Sunday, June 3, 2007

'Looking down on' is too strong a word




One day, I was sitting in Kelvin's car when I asked the boys a question.

Do guys look down on other guys who fuck... like... cheap women?

Like if their perfectly eligible friend screws a prostitute/maid and even marries her, what is their view on this?

Because, I told Kelvin, girls ABSOLUTELY look down on men who do that.

(except of course the cheap sluts themselves won't look down on themselves)

Kelvin thought for a long while and replied, "I will think it's very absurd, but looking down on him is too strong, I definitely won't look down on him. Ultimately it is his own decision and if he loves her truly blah blah blah..."


FUCK OFF!!

WHY ARE MEN LIKE THAT?!

I am not saying that all prostitutes or maids or like foreign third-world country women who come here are sluts, but it is so fucking TYPICAL, you know.

Some of them try so hard to seduce our Singaporean men, and they don't fucking care if these men are married!

And I am so jaded by all these stories of how perfectly eligible men fuck their maids, then screw over their wives, and eventually marries the maid, that it really makes me barf!!!

(Read my mother's friend story on how this guy dumped his wife and 4 kids for the maid. And the maid is like coercing him to do it too - nope, not the least bit guilty she is!)

It has come to the point where if I see a guy with a girl who looks like she is, well, I can't find any other word for it but "cheap", I feel so disgusted with the guy, I wanna go over and kick him on the balls.

I even wonder if he knows how women feel towards guys like him?

Decent, smart women. (Ha yes I am talking about myself!)

Women who get together with men they are IN LOVE WITH, not with men who are their daddy's age, fat, balding, married, and RICH (rich in context to their country's currency rate).

When I told Kelvin that any girl will lose all respect for a guy who gets together with a prostitute or, like, their maids, and he asked me who am I to judge how cheap a woman is?


ROARRRRRRRR!!


Anyway, that's my POINT in this blog entry!!

I never realised this, but a guy's POV and a girl's POV is soooo vastly different!

A guy merely shrugs and goes, "Well, that's weird since he can do better, but it's his freedom," but oh! girls so won't think that way!

I started getting very fen nu (agitated) and starting berating the guys incessantly, when one of the boys said something logical.

"Well, is this guy you are saying married or not? If he is married, then of course we will look down on his behaviour, but if he is not, then it is his freedom to date a cockroach if he wants to."


Or something along that lines.

True...

BUT BUT BUT!

I don't know how to explain this, but it honestly just pisses the girls off to see men who are so obviously CHEATED of their money by this cheap sluts!!


It pisses me off to see an old angmoh bring some young slut into LV to buy her bags! She doesn't deserve those classy bags! YUCKS! Why should these girls make other girls seem like accessories for men!


We are not here just to provide sex and in exchange get money! We can't let them use us like that!!!


GRRRRRRR


And I don't even dislike gold-diggers you know.

I don't! I think if Anna Nicole Smith is hot enough to score an old billionaire, then that's her prerogative, because God knows she worked hard to look so good!

But seeing some ugly Geylang slut slobbering on the arms our Singaporean uncles/fat angmohs is just different. Like, ewwww, so old and fat you also want, and not as if he is that rich lor.

And what pisses us normal girls off more is that the guys FALL FOR IT!

They think the slut really is in love with them!!!
If the guys go for a gorgeous gold-digger, than it is a fair exchange, but ugly sluts are just... ewww! Why would anyone dump their decent wives for an uneducated ugly lump?


When I told Gillian and Joan that men don't look down on other men who fucks cheap sluts, Gillian was totally nonplussed and she went like, "Hiyah, you know why? Coz all men have sex with prostitutes la!"

I was all like, o_O

I said, "WHAT? No, that's not true."

Joan chipped in and agreed with Gillian. No ALL, of course, but a vast majority would do it and probably have done it before, she said.

o_O

I am getting increasingly disgusted by the male population!!!

I know it's all natural to want sex and all, but EW!

To pay for sex is SOOOOO loserish!


(I asked Mike if he did before, and he said he didn't. So I made him swear upon my life and he still said he didn't, citing, "I don't want my penis to drop off, they are disease-ridden!" as a reason. Digressing, this "swear upon my life" thing is a damn good thing to force truths out with.)



Wouldn't you lose all respect for your father if you found out he fucks prostitutes on a regular basis?
(Assuming the cheating part didn't matter)


While I was hollering at the boys for their lack of morals (ie they SHOULD judge other guys who are behaving like that, because this will possibly make such incidents happen less if it is generally frowned upon), QQ was quietly sitting next to me.

The boys totally didn't understand why women feel so strongly about this issue.

She quipped, in an attempt to make them understand, "OK, how will you feel like I go and have sex with some smelly foreign worker?"


The boys all childishly laughed and just said they will think she is siao. -_-


QQ and I looked at each other, sighed, and we rested our case.


******************

QQ came up with a pretty good explanation.

She said that in females it is in our natural instinct to want to find a good man to have sex with, so that we can ensure that after our babies are born, they are taken care of by a man who can do the job - and WILL do the job.

We only have so many chances of getting pregnant, and plus, it's such a tedious event... obviously we have GOT to be stringent about our choice of men.

(maybe that's why we look down on girls who are not stringent?)

But men, men are different!

Men just want to spread their stupid seeds everywhere!!

They don't care who they fuck or what they fuck, as long as as many women as possible get their babies it's good!!

And that's why, other men don't look down on men who fuck gross women... maybe because they understand this "instinct".

I don't care.

That's like saying we shouldn't look down on child rapists too because it is the natural instinct of men (even when they are very old) to want to have young girls spread their seed.

And boys, you DO look down on child rapists, don't you?


************************

A disclaimer.

This post is NOT about race.

I took that photo because it is appropriate (to my topic), not because of whatever skin colour the girls have. Whatever associations you make from the picture is your own and not mine.

I say maids and prostitutes because they are usually of a lower social status than the men I speak of.

I am only talking about the slutty ones, and not the decent, hardworking women who help Singaporean families. I apologize to those maids whose reputations are tainted by their horrible counterparts.

I know you idiots are going to use the whole "Woo, you are racist!" thing again, but the entire post had no indication of any race of any kind.

I look down on ALL men who fuck cheap ugly sluts, regardless of the latter's races. =)


And just so you guys know, half your social circle (ie all the females) will look down on you if you get together with a cheap whore and let her use your sub-card unlimitedly.


********************

Update:

Wooooooo... Some of you think you are oh-so-smart in pointing out that I have an angmoh boyfriend, and therefore, I am the same as these cheap sluts!!!

Some pointers for you stupid people here:

1) I didn't go after Mike using means of low-class seduction - he was the one interested in me first.

2) We are age-appropriate.

3) Our incomes are on par (well, at least for this well-paying month), but even if it is not, I can still well pay for myself. I do not use my boyfriend as an atm machine.

4) Our intellectual standards are on par. Argue all you want and say I am stupid, but a Mensa membership does not lie.

5) I am at least a celebrity in Singapore - I don't know about you guys, when even in America I suppose that means I earn my own money and don't have to hanker after angmoh men for theirs.

6) Mike was a student when I met him and was quite poor beyond words.

7) Both of us are not ugly. (You guys only say I am ugly because you think I think I'm very pretty and you want to correct my thinking. It is not working.)



DOES IT STILL SEEM LIKE THE SAME FUCKING SITUATION TO YOU??

Barking mad idiots.

AND FOR THE FUCKING LAST TIME, STOP SAYING STUPID THINGS LIKE, "Stop being so proud of having a caucasian boyfriend, it is nothing to be proud of."

??????

Since when did I ever say I am proud of his race? Want to get white guys that hard meh? Clark Quay got a dime a dozen all wanting "asian sluts" lor.

But anyway, being classifed as one of these third-world sluts by all these ignorant people is one of the reasons why I hate such relationships. I hate being tainted by the same brush.

It is almost enough to make me want to leave Mike. Kidding baby!! :D

To the guy who so smartly pointed out that in exchange for "rent" (in future) I give Mike sex - so in all essence I am a prostitute:

Very clever, very clever.

BUT WRONG.

How about you see it this way?

In exchange for my love, intellectual banter, potential willingness to bear his children and loyalty to Mike, I get sex, free housing, frequent treats to meals, protection, a goodnight kiss before I go to bed every night, and a good morning kiss when I wake up every morning.

I find it very funny that people talk as if girls don't enjoy sex too. Ha! Some girls don't coz they are cheap sluts dating old men of course!

Unless they happen to be blind and cheap at the same time.

p/s: No I won't pity cheap sluts for their situation. It's like pitying murderers for being violent in nature. Who did these sluts harm? Only decent wives and innocent children! Fuck that.

Friday, June 1, 2007

You know what?

This is fucking GREAT with a capital G!

SUPER IRRITATING!

I was trying to upload the NYC pictures to this blog, and I opened Picasa, the program I normally use to upload the pics to first (all at one go you see) to a web album.

VERY UNFORTUNATELY, I don't know what fluffy animal I killed to deserve this, but my PICASA WAS IN CHINESE!!!

Nitty Gritty little Chinese words!!


HOW CUTE! BORAT NOT!!

And for some really hilarious reason, the little drop down windows (File, Edit, View etc buttons on top) has little square boxes instead of readible, understandable ENGLISH!

OH WHAT NOW, COMPUTER? I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THE ANCIENT TONGUE OF SQUARES!

I messed around with fucking picasa for the past 2 hours, and it won't recover!

SO I tried clicking every single button the squares were - and Picasa started to auto-detect all my picture files over again, tens of thousands of photos!!!

COMPLETELY IRRITATED AND HATE BLOGGING.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I ALSO HATE??

COPYCATS.

CCBBBBBBBBBBBBB

I saw a comment that day, and it said something along the lines of how I wrote about Nuffnang AFTER some n00b bloggers did too.

It made me so pissed off I might have had steam come out of my nostrils.

Super hate being compared to other bloggers ok?! Oh man that really gets me.


That day, Qihua randomly said something like, "xxx blogger got the new LG shine phone or something."

I flared up at her and said, "OEI! Why you talking about her/him?! I ALSO GOT THE PHONE WHAT!!"

She got startled and fell out of her chair. Well ok, she didn't fall out of her chair, but the image of that is kinda funny, and I thought I'd write that so I could laugh when I look back at this entry.

So anyway, yeah! I AM THE BEST AROUND OK!

I don't care if you all think I am arrogant or getting my downfall or whatever, I AM STILL THE BEST AT WHAT I DO!

I can HEAR you whispering under your voice, "Which is lazing around and NOT blogging recently..."

BAH! It's true, but I am still the best!

HMPF!


Oh, so YOU think Nuffnang approached me AFTER approaching other n00b bloggers?

*roll eyes*

My advertorial took so long, because it is more expensive, and therefore takes longer to discuss than, "Oh, $2.50 for an advertorial? Set."

ANYWAY, that is not my point.

My point is about ADVERTORIALS.

I may not have been the first person to ever use the word advertorial, but I am pretty damn fucking sure the during ancient times when nobody advertised on blogs yet because no blog was as awesome as mine, I THOUGHT OF THIS FORMAT FIRST.

THAT IS RIGHT.

Circa 2005

And then after that, the first blog "advertorial" was born.

Click.


This little underlined-advertorial-word-on-the-top format became so wide-known, that everyone is using it, thinking that that's the only way to do it.


AND I AM ANGRY BECAUSE PEOPLE AREN'T GIVING ME ENOUGH CREDIT!!!


Maybe I didn't do that much, but I oughta be recognised as a pioneer!

Other bloggers oughta bow when they see me!!

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A CASE STUDY BY NOW!

(Well some people (by some I mean a grand total of 2) told me they wrote their PHD thesis on me before so I kinda am a case study)

I dunno, I am just GRUMPY!

My fucking tamagotchi turned into a ninja with bad teeth, and QQ's girl tama won't have sex with him and have a baby together!!!

SO MY TAMA IS GOING TO TURN INTO AN OLD TAMA AND DIE!!!!!!!!!!!



Ok, I blogged out my grumpiness.

You guys can go ahead with your day, and ignore whatever I wrote on top. I didn't mean it. Well, I kinda did, except 98% less harsh.

I also wonder if I will like cockroaches if they were pink instead of that disgusting shade of brown?

Like if they were, like, you know, hot pink with bright happy yellow feelers and maybe... blue-green feet.

I really don't know. I don't mind ladybirds because their colours are so nice, you know. But their face is KINDA the same as a cockroach's.

Ewww cockroaches are gross.

Some caterpillars are a nice shade of green, but they are still gross.

I was about to conclude that God doesn't make pink stuff ugly, then I realised that like a human's carcass is probably pinkish. -_-

I am almost too bimbotic to function! Although I can probably trash your ass at advanced progressive matrices.

And I'd do better at them if they were prettier too.

p/s: Can anyone PLEASE tell me if I can discard one of my six chosen pokemons?! You can't get more than six right? I can't figure out how to do it and I really really want a jigglypuff! (I am playing Pokemon Pearl on DS lite)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

"Your blog is now so boring!!"

HEY!

You think every single day of your life is filled with exciting police car chases ending with precarious cliffs and then sailing your pirate boat over turbulent choppy waters is it??

LIFE GOT BORING DAYS THEN BLOG ALSO WILL HAVE BORING DAYS LA!!

Idiots.

I'd blog again when I got something interesting to write about.

Would also appreciate it if people who know where to buy garden swings let me know, wanna get one for the new place.

I WANT IT WHITE AND ENTWINED WITH GREEN VINES!!!



Chio!!

AH! I thought of something interesting to write about!!!

INSULTS THAT DON'T WORK!!!!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??

Wanna throw insults at me to break me down? Perhaps, also stop me from blogging so that I can't lead the perfect life I am leading right now? To throw in a bonus, maybe also kill myself in the process?

NO, NOT GONNA WORK.

Besides the usual no-thinker insults like,

- I am fat
- I am boring
- I am ugly


recently there are also some new interesting insults I have received:



1) I stay in a HDB flat.

Errrrrrr....... And so I stay in a 3-room hdb flat cos my family is not rich. SO WHAT?

Honestly, if you think about it, so rich for WHAT? People will keep trying to borrow money from me lor!

I then don't want that sort of burden. I think it's way better to act poor. =D

LOL... It's so funny that people would tell me stuff like they stay in some shittyass private house and I am inferior to them.

Trying to justify your life now aren't you?

Why I wonder? Is it because you are ugly and lead a damn sad life? I won't trade a beautiful house for that. =)



2) Mike will dump me soon

Yes, he will definitely listen to you guys and dump me.

That is why he had forsaken everything that is familiar to him in the US, got a mass reduction in his expected US salary, and come to Singapore to live in our terrible weather.

;)



3) My neh nehs are very small.

NABEH NEH SMALL ALSO KENA!

BIG say I look like slut, SMALL then say I airport - I can never win lor.



Whatever, you guys. Comments disallowed, don't bother leaving any, they won't be approved.

Good day!!