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Monday, March 19, 2007

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

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MY LIFE IS PERFECT!

Damn near perfect anyway!! Well after many months of worrying, Mike sort of finally got a job working as exactly what he wants, and also earning a pretty *ahem* comfortable salary!!

What do you say, eh, eh? I got a rich angmoh bf now! Ha! I'm now just like anyone of those girls with a rich angmoh bf! Good riddence to our struggling poor people lifestyle!

That day I was with Mike at Ikea (my current favourite hangout, remember?) and I saw a lot of angmohs with oriental chicks, so I told him,

"Eh, there are lots of couples... like us."

And Mike, examining a $3.90 spoon set, mumbled, "Yeah..."

And I said, "You know, when I look at us I don't think of us being like them..." and I screwed up my plastic nose in distaste.

He asked what I meant, and I said haughtily, "WE ARE BEYOND RACE!! Our love is beyond race."

and Mike laughed and asked, "So their's" (pointed to a random angmoh/chinese couple)"is just about their race?"

"Yes," I said arrogantly.

It's true too! I can see it in their eyes. As for Mike, sometimes I just don't even remember he is an angmoh anymore. Not that he looks Chinese or anything, just too used to him and he appears to be a... raceless person.

I don't know how to explain myself la hiyah.

Enough about the angmoh!

I FINALLY GOT A TATTOO!!!!

It is soooo pretty! It's a snowflake on my wrist...

I got it on March 14th, which is our 1 year anniversary. Not that it has to do with anything, but just a date that I can remember! My nose job was done on 12/12/06!



This is before it got tattooed on.

Initially I brought with me a picture of a snowflake cut out from an aircon booklet (I simply can't find nice snowflake pictures!).

Jeremy, my tattoo artist, went to randomly yahoo search some pictures for me, and found this picture of a snowflake on a rubber stamp! I decided I like it enough, so there goes!

I got it at Primitive - at Far East Plaza.




Jeremy! Cute and talented. :)


"This is the needle that will pierce your skin later."

And thus he started tattoo-ing!

I was trembling all over and I was damn scared, but when the needle actually touched my skin, it was SO NOT PAINFUL that I actually exclaimed,

"CHEH, NOT PAIN AT ALL LAR!"

Which is completely true!

The pain was sooooooo minor it's like less painful than an ant bite (which in my opinion is pretty damn painful, especially the red big variety, but it seems to be not painful at all for most people).

Painful enough for you to maybe wish for the tattoo artist to stop, but certainly not painful enough to make you cringe or move your body away from the needle. Very tolerable!


Maybe it is not painful coz I am fat?


And there you go...











My fresh new snowflake!

I wanted a baby pink blended with hot pink tattoo, but Jeremy kept advising against it, saying it will just look like a scratch and that pink can't be seen. :(

People are always talking about how the tattoo-ing process hurts, but nobody ever told me that the AFTERMATH of the tattoo-ing hurts too!

In fact, I think the aftermath actually hurts more, it feels like the area got badly sunburnt, or like how a skinned knee feels like.

Aftermath, 2nd day:


All dry and scabbing! Have to keep putting moisturiser.



All ready to be peeled off! The peeling process is super fun can.


I am happy!!

Well, Momo.

Momo was in Ipoh when I got my tattoo, so the night after I got a nightmare about her being very pissed off with me (she obviously didn't know yet) and the next morning, with my cousin's advice, I gingerly sms-ed her that I got my tattoo done and that I still love her!

Momo ignored me for one day but she got over it, and till now she is avoiding looking at my tattoo. Ha! Maybe she convinced herself it is invisible. :D


3rd Super Happy Thing:

I GOT MY AIRCON!!!!!!!!!

$538 - it is a window unit from Carrier!! Happy happy happy



Two Malaysian guys and a Bangala came to fix it.

At first I rather liked the Bangala coz he actually posed for the photo which I thought was very funny, but then later the two Malaysian guys left the room to go to the corridor to cut up a plank of wood.

And they left the Bangala standing alone inside my room.

I was sitting on an armchair outside, so I could see what he was doing inside...

He just stood there and started looking at my stuff!

I mean, not touching them or anything, but I had this series of photos up the wall of me and my friends, and he kept staring at those photos (I swear he stared for 10 whole minutes), just standing awkwardly and silently inside the room... Looking at my stuff...

And thus he freaked me out.

I mean, can't he just get out of the room and go join his colleagues? There was nothing for him to do till they get the plank cut up, and he just stood there!!!

And therefore, his face is mosaic-ed coz his face just freaks me out now and I don't want it on my blog.

The main Malaysian air-con guy was super nice and very efficient though!


BLISS!


Love love love


Random photos galore!!


Powerpuff


Revamped room.

I am not done with it yet! I know the bedsheets look very stupid, but I bought lilac satin ones from Mustafa! Damn chio!


This must be one of the best things from Ikea!

BAGS BAGS BAGS! Aren't bags just a pain in the ass? They are always lying everywhere and there is never enough space for them!

HOL storage bench from Ikea - $129 - solved all my bags problems. Also doubles off as a bench! Whoopee do!


Accessories and assorted rubbish

In case you are wondering what the white stuff is, it is eyelash glue. :D And inside the yellow box is MORE eyelashes.

I swear I have more than 40 pairs of fake eyelashes by now. And that's after throwing so many away!




Wardrobe!

Mike, "Don't you think it's better to have a (walk-in) closet than a wardrobe?"

Me, "Yes, unless..."

Mike, "...?"

Me, "Unless the wardrobe leads to Narnia...." *trails off in a mysterious voice*



Repainted my mural! It used to be just white, as some of you might remember.



I saw this paint pattern at Ikea and decided to paint my room the same colour! Unfortunately, I have no idea what to do with the mural. Does it go?







ME

Long overdue photo:


Our CNY yu sheng!!


It is damn pretty right? Done by my chef uncle:


He looks so pleased with himself...

Look what we did to his work of art though:


Haha!

Qihua's Birthday at Cafe Del Mar







The theme is Dragonfruit! I was damn dragonfruity because Qihua hinted that the most dragonfruity person will get a present!

SHE LIED.

I had on a green top, a hot pink skirt, and even put on green and pink eyeshadow ok! Even my bag and shoes were hot pink! And I brought along a white with black polka dots hairband!

Hmpf! All my efforts for nothing.

The cute guy, besides Mike (blush), who is wearing a "No Fat Chicks" tee, is Sho, who is Yan KK's new squeeze. He is half Jap and half Thai!

One Year Anniversary










We celebrated at Shaslisk (however you spell it) restaurant at Far East Shopping Centre. Nice steaks!


You can't tell, but we are both damn happy in the aircon. It is actually cold!



I don't care! If other bloggers can act cute, so can I, ok? Now stop it!


Mike has the tiniest ears in the world belonging to any adult man.


Qing Qing bought this for me from Taipei!


Mike's tee I bought from FOS. Only $10!


A tortoise.


A tortoise. Upturned.

And speaking of happy happy purchases, I just bought this lava lamp today! $15!



It has silver stars and moons inside, and the liquid is a lovely shade of pink!! It's so pointless and useless but it makes me so happy when it glitters... *crazy bimbo smile*

And my happiest purchase in a long, long time...

A PINK KEYBOARD!


Isn't it pretty, pretty, pretty?!

It looks horrid in the photo, but it is actually baby pink with translucent light pink keys!

I AM SO HAPPY WITH IT, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND A PINK KEYBOARD FOR THE LONGEST TIME!!!

Although the Minnie mouses are stupid, but still... PINK!

Ok this sums up my pointless blog entry. :D



Oh something to add! I've been seeing people blog about me in the same vein as some of these new teenage bloggers, like yadda yadda, I like XX, but I like dunno-who better, she is more interesting... etc

You know, like blog reviews and stuff.

I clicked on one of the links, and I felt DAMN INSULTED!

The reviewer said that I am pretty but not as pretty as some of these stupid tween bloggers!

.... FUCK MAN!

I make an effort to photoshop EVERY SINGLE PHOTO OF MINE, making it the best contrast and sharpness, and I never ever put ugly people on my blog, EVER.

I don't mean people like relatives who can't help being old or something, I am talking about my friends - nobody with yellow teeth or zits coz I just photoshop them away...

I just make a humongous effort to make this blog look professional and nice, and HERE ARE SOME PEOPLE COMPARING ME TO SOME TEENAGER WHO IS SERIOUSLY UGLY!!!

Well she is not really ugly, but just has this really awkward demeanour. I can't stand looking at her face. She wears glasses, for god's sake! If you can't afford contact lenses, then PLEASE DONT ACT CHIO IN THE GLASSES AND ALSO MAKE UP!

God I can't stand ugly people who keep trying to take photos in odd angles to enhance their placid looks. I can't stand bad photos with blurry lighting (nice try, but can't hide your hideous face), can't stand bad photography skills or lousy cameras.... Just URGH! Webcam shots and amatuer photoshop skills to change what, hue? SPARE ME! Just don't.

I may not be very pretty, but whenever I look awful, I try to at least photoshop it better... then I post it up.

Would not be compared to some tween. LOOK HERE, I'VE BEEN BLOGGING FOR 4 YEARS ALREADY! Have some respect, hor!

Am old! I am 23! I am not 18 anymore like when I just started out!! Please spare me the comparisons to these stupid new bloggers who are studying for N levels or something.

And when their blogskins are these amatuer gross-looking ones! Mine's done by a professional designer. -_- Can't be compared.

Ew!

God they are so ugly. All their friends are pimply! It's ok to be pimply, but just don't give this look like you are so good-looking when there is this awkward zit looking like it is just trying to say "Nah ah! Not pretty! Not with me sitting right here!" whenever you split into an act cute smile.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Grrrr

Super ill!

I got the flu + fever + hacking cough + sore throat combo all rolled into one!

Poor Mike is so unlucky, he came here, and I was sick and grumpy for 4 days straight! I am surprised he didn't just go buy a ticket to get out of here.

Anyway, just about now is our 1 year anniversary!! :D

I was at a bar with him, and we heard Wonderful Tonight and I told him that if he wants to propose to me he has to sing that song. Muahaha!

Just now he sang like a bit and I kept telling him that that is a proposal and he can't just escape out of it and will have to marry me, and he is horrified. HAHAHA!

You know those fucking dumbasses who write stuff like,

"Why are you so shameless to say you guys have been together for 1 year? It is a long-distance relationship, so I bet it doesn't count coz you guys don't actually SEE each other!"


WELL FUCK OFF.

Firstly, I can call it 1 year, or a century, or even a peanut, and it is none of your business.

Secondly, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH, SO SHUT YOUR TRAP - YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO TALK!

So are you telling me now that all couples from now on should only count days they are physically WITH each other as a "together" day?

*roll eyes*


IDIOTS.

If I wanted to count days like that I would call it "Physically Together Anniversary", and not just anniversary, which simply (to most people ANYWAY, except the anal sort) means 1 year of being in a committed relationship!

Within a year, Mike and I met up 6 times, but each time we would spend a long time together EVERYDAY, so that's like 3 months of being physically together? 3/12 = meeting once every 4 days on average, yeah?

That's just like any other normal couple, you stupid dumbasses with nothing better to say!

So annoyed with people like this. Bet they are all sadly, sadly, left on the shelf and that's why they are so bitter!

ANYWAY, enough on this topic.

I am recently very lazy to put on make up, and when I don't put on make up I don't take photos!!!

Except this one I took in zouk with Project Superstar winner Daren all while in DRUNKEN STUPOR:


I am so red I made the camera think he is yellow


Kelvin and the rest FORCED me to drink a shot, knowing full well I totally CANNOT drink!!!

I got completely drunk, and Daren sashayed into members. I grabbed Qihua and I said I must must take a photo of Daren to put on my blog!

Isaac the siao heard me, and he actually went to Daren to tell Daren this!

Daren agreed to the photo-taking.

I was all slurry (but unfortunately not drunk enough to not have this crystal-clear memory of my embarrassment) and I then walked up to Daren and this is how the conversation went:


***

Me: Hello!! I am so drunk.

Daren: Eh, ok.

Me: COME! Photo photo!!

Daren: *Smiles* (After photo) Hey, you know Benjamin right?

Me: Benjamin WHO?! (shouted the "who" into poor Daren's face)

Daren: Ben Loy.

Me: OMG Yeah!

(It was then at this moment that I realise that I have a great great talent scouting potential!! Look at this old entry, press ctrl F and type "sorbet".

It is an entry I wrote donkey years ago about how I thought Daren was talented and cute! See! I could predict future SuperStars! I even have a pic of him!

I can't believe I said Daren looks like a Si Wen Bai Lei (pretending to be decent) though. I am quite thankful he didn't slap me)



Me, after thinking back: EH! So you still with that girl?!

Daren: Eh, no...

Me, slurry: Oh! Good... good... that's good.

Daren found no suitable reply for this so he kept quiet.

Me: She's not very pretty you know.

***


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*Palm forehead*

I can't remember what Daren replied or if he did at all, but after this I continued my drunken embarrassment:


***

Me, demanding tone: So you got girlfriend now?!

Daren: No no, single now.

Me: Good... good... that's good...


*Major awkward silence*


Me: OK! I go back to join my friends!

***


And so I did.

After being high for 1 hour, I was dancing on the dance floor, and SUDDENLY all the moving, sweaty bodies around me smelled strongly like raw, slaughtered pork. Dead, bloody human-like flesh!

It smells like murder - grosteque bloody disgusting meat murder.

The smell suddenly overpowered me so badly that I felt really nauseous and I went to puke and then took a cab home! Time: 1.30am.

I am such a loser!!!

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Ikea and Old people

I've been obsessed about getting my room to look nice since CNY!!!!!!

I've spent like $550 at Ikea so far, which, I personally feel, is a godsend.

How often can you walk into an inexpensive shop and yet never even once catch yourself saying, "Wow, that is motherfucking ugly."?

In Courts, for example, Mike and I saw something the other day which looks like someone decided to string together lots and lots of brown turds and make it into a carpet!!!! MUAHAHA!! Given, the turds are all the same size and colour, but still!! We saw later they even have a version of the turd carpet in dull orange!

Ha!

But not Ikea! Ikea's stuff are ALL nice! How can it be that a bunch of designers can all be so talented? Whether they are sturdy or not is another matter, but so far, they are serving me fine. I heart Ikea! I want to be their ambassador!!!

I saw a swing at the children's section! Once Mike moves here I'm gonna ask him to install the swing at his new place so I can swing and watch tv. MUAHAHA!

We might also use the swing for other purposes. HA!

Speaking of Mike, he is coming here again soon, on the 9th.

HE BOUGHT A ONE-WAY TICKET!

Is that just exciting or what?! New phase of my life!!

Now, to everyone who told me that LDRs will never work out: Fuck you all!! I'd show you my middle finger, but Teban Gardens is far away from most places.

Just thought of some dying traditions. Is there anyone in my generation who eats fish eyeballs anymore?

I think eating fish eyeballs will officially die out within the next 10 years!


That day, Shuyin, her boyfriend ZC and I were eating claypot porridge in Chinatown.

I was queuing up and next in line, when this cb chao ah pek cut my queue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE CUT MY QUEUE! BLATANTLY!


I never ever let people off when they do things like that to me, and I was about to scold him but I was scared that he boxed my fragile nose since he is already so old (maybe 60) and jail to him is nothing.

STUPID NOSE!!

I don't give a shit about waiting for another 2 minutes, but this old man is obviously NOT SENILE, TOTALLY HEALTHY, and he KNOWS HE CUT MY QUEUE!

Why can't he ask nicely if he can go first? I'd let him take my place anytime!

And you know what? He actually DOES know he is wrong, because he was facing me for a bit and I kept glaring really hard at him, but he totally avoided my line of vision, acting like he was oblivious to his surroundings.

I mumbled to more to myself than to him, "You cut my queue" in Mandarin, and he heard me but he still looked past my right ear! Grrrrrrrrrr!

You know how when we were kids, our parents and textbooks will always tell us about how we must respect the elderly people?

Well, fuck that.

I grew up to realise that a lot of old people are fucking grumpy, rude, and worst of all, they totally bully young people and take our kindness for granted because they know they can get away with it!

Like this stupid lao ah pek for example!

Clinton also told me how, when he was younger ( say 9, 10), old people and especially aunties would shove him and cut his queue.

HATE RUDE AUNTIES SO MUCH!

How many of these crude, uneducated people actually deserve our respect?

The textbooks are wrong, not all of them are sickly, weak, and sweet old ladies who will smile at us when we give up our seats for them.

Some of them are perfectly capable of shoving younger people aside to get a seat for themselves!!!

Respect is not meant for such people!!

When I have a kid of my own I'd tell him or her to show respect to elders, but once these people show they are unworthy of respect, feel free to fight back for your rights! No need to give in to them just coz they are older!

Of course, we Chinese believe that the young should always respect their older relatives, but I really don't understand why this "respect" thing should go for also people totally not blood-related to us!! Does it mean that kids are to respect an old molester also?! PUI!

I am still irritated with the ah pek! So what if he is old? Old people don't need to queue up one meh? Young people don't need to eat?! Like that if an endless stream of old people keep cutting my queue, I don't need to order my food already lar??

Grrrr

p/s: I STILL RESPECT OLD PEOPLE HOR, UNTIL THEY SHOW THEY ARE UNWORTHY OF MY RESPECT. If only every old person is like my paternal grandparents! They are always so smiley and sweet. My maternal grandpa is quite grumpy, but he is 90 years old so I don't blame him.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Hilarious comments

I just received a very funny comment from one "mrsnadel", and here it goes:

From:coconutthesausage@gmail.com
03.03.07 - 12:48 pm
IP: 202.156.8.10

xiaxue, i used to think you were basically a nice person. i used to think all these people who create hate-blogs about you are suckers since youre entitled to live your life the way you want to. but ever since i read about your treatment of lizards, i think youre A FUCKING BITCH WHO DESERVES TO BURN IN HELL. I HOPE A LIZARD GAUGES OUT YOUR EYEBALLS, SHITS ON YOU, REACHES INTO YOUR THROAT, UNCOILS YOUR GUT AND STRANGLES YOU WITH IT.


SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST SOOOOOOOO CRAZY!!

AND STUPID.

Isn't it funny? What I am doing to the lizards, she is wishing it upon me probably a lot worse, since I am a human being and will take longer to die than a lizard would, upon torture.

So, the question is, WHO IS SHE TO BE LECTURING ME?

If she can justify hurting me in the manner she mentioned, I may also have my reasons for hurting the lizards (mainly coz one died in my room and made me sick in the head), which she might or might not agree with.

For example, I also don't agree with her that just because I kill lizards, I deserve to have my guts uncoiled and used to strangle myself.

And therefore, am I justified to curse that she gets forcefed cow shit till she emits methane and subsequently kills all her family members around her in a long slow manner?

Some of you may say yes in a loud cheering voice, because dumb people like this should not be allowed to have children - and true enough, the answer is yes. I can justify whatever shit I want, it's my prerogative as long as I am not breaking the law!

But because I am like this myself, I DON'T GO LECTURE PEOPLE AND ACT LIKE ONE MORAL SAINT!

I hate in-between, mediocre people like this.

They are too stupid to see logic and realise their own retardation, but yet are smart enough to feature out how to use a computer, log on to my blog, and even figure out how to leave a bloody dumbassed comment.

Any dumber and they will just go about playing with lego blocks all day, contemplating whether it is edible or not, and suddenly laughing out loud at this funny thought, startling the rest of the family members.

mrsnadel, you might be pleased to know that at least one part of your curse came true.

A lizard did indeed shit on me once before when I was much younger, and the shit is not warm!

Wait. Are you one of them mutated lizards who became super smart? If you are a lizard I suppose it is very logical of you to fight for your kind like this.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Malaysian Trip, CNY day 1 and day 2

A smattering of photos...

I went on a 4-day road trip to KL, Penang and Genting with Gillian + Bryan, Rozz + Joey, Ashley + Justin, Me + Mike. 4 couples!


Rozz Joey


Gillian Bryan


Ashley Justin


Smelly angmoh and me!

All of us at Zouk KL...





The girls are talking gossip and you are not allowed


G's relatives took us to eat the BEST LAO SHU FEN EVER! Soooo yummy

Next day at Penang... Super lack of photos during this trip coz I kept not putting make-up and I hate taking photos without make up!


G waiting for the food


Mike and I... You can't see it, but we are hungry!


Pick up chopsticks already...

ATTACK!!!


SUPER DELICIOUS CHEESE CRABS!


Salted egg yolk prawns, the best prawns in the world!


Random photo: Cute panda


Random photo: Mike repairing our house tv


Cheesy duck ride in Genting


Rozz and I...

Genting tries so hard to be a Las Vegas, but all it achieved is looking like a haunted themepark. Everything is soooo old and ill-maintained!


G with V-cam. Filming Girls Out Loud: Road Trip!

G never puts make up so we forced her to!


With fake lashes, haha...


I wish Mike would stop flirting with the camera.



He is doing it again!


Stop!!!


Group of us went to have a drink...


G told me to pose with Cigar Aficionado and wine so I look rich!


********




Qing qing invited us to go to the premiere of Just Follow Law!



I am so mean, there were another 4 people after Jack Neo but I just cropped them off coz they are not interesting.

The movie is quite funny, it's about Fann and Gurmit switching souls! I'd pay money just to watch Fann Wong scold Nabeh lor! (Which she did in the show)


*********


Random photo: Girl I drew on post-it.

I think I might be very talented.


Random photo: This is how we spent Valentine's day

Making Cloudy chase laser points. :D


CNY Day 1!!!!!!










My favourite people in the world: Grandma and grandpa =)


Cousin Vivian


With my daddy!

He looks super confused.
I think Dads aren't used to self-shot pictures.


My twin uncles! They are always smily and cute


Me + grandma + grandpa.

I think my grandma doesn't love me anymore coz this year she didn't fry an egg for me... Every year she would... :(


My, eh, "Ferragamo" bag.



CNY DAY 2!!











(Yes I know you can see my bra. Whatever! Just a piece of stupid garment)

My baby niece!!! Isn't she the sweetest ever??

Sooooooo cute and fat and cuddly! My maternal instincts are RAGING!!!! I need a baby...


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FINE.



CNY DAY 3



Yan Kaykay (aka Qihua), Qingqing and me!!

Qihua always asks me to marry her brother so she can call me Yan Yan Yan. Very funny hor? *roll eyes at Qihua*


Qing with Kelvin's sis, Shi han.


Qihua is eating... AGAIN! Always.


Super big giant prawn next to puny prawns... :D


MJ MADNESS!

LASTLY....











ME!!!!!!